Captain's training log

If they had bikes it might have gone something like this:



Stardate:01/29/09

We have landed on a newly discoverd planet and will explore on our bikes.









































Kirk-Where are we Mr. Spock?

Spock-Sir it appears to be Wenger Road. Shall we bring our powermeters Captain?

Kirk-No you fool ,we don't need such things, we are a highly advanced life form.








Kirk-What is this white stuff on the surface?
Spock-It appears to some form of ice crystals.






Kirk-It's attacking my rear derailluer.Get it off now!

Spock-But how Captain?

Kirk-I have an idea, drop your pants Spock.

Spock-That is illogical Sir.

Kirk-Bones, Do you have any ideas?

Bones-Damnit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a bike mechanic!









Kirk-Scotty, get over here! Urinate on that thing before it freezes up.

Scotty-Eye eye Sir!

Kirk-More Scotty, more!

Scotty-Eye Captain, I'm giving 'er all she's got!

Kirk-Good work Scotty, we are clear. Engage warp speed to Mount Eaton.

Guess who

Another winter riding tip: Don't stop shaving your legs just 'cause you got tights on. Can you identify this club member?

I want 1 million Euros!

Dr. Evil Fuentes


















Well just like a bad venereal disease, Operación Puerto just won't go away. As this festering sore gets re-opened once again, I just can't wait to see what kind of infected slime oozes out of it this time. Dr. Evil Fuentes has really got to be feeling the heat now and hopefully a jail sentence is looming in his near future.













Recently implicated in the puerto affiar is the hot new climbing phenom, Mini Pantani. He is rumored to have been working closely with Fuentes in his preseason training. Mini is a test tube baby created from the DNA of recent Tour winners in hopes that a genetic freak 'super climber' could be produced. The experiment went terribly wrong when Floyd's bloodline was introduced. "Apparently all those years of Amish inbreeding really messed up the DNA cocktail", reported Fuentes.

Meet my personal coach

CTS has nothing on this guy. This little virus has been my best coach for years now. It always tells me when I need to take a break. I used to get angry about missing training when I got sick. Now I realize that time off is actually 'WHEN' you get faster. And since it was -15F last night he could not have come at a better time. If you would also like to secure the services of my personal trainer for yourself let me know within the next couple days and we can arrange a meeting. ACHOO!

Favorable conditions for the next evolution.

Here is Feeman 50 yards out in the field after he was unable to stop on an icy roadway.
















This is the curve he was unable to negotiate. Ice straight up with a snow chaser. I finally feel good about spending the money on studded tires.
















Good times to be had at the cross course after a fresh snowstorm. We rode 7 miles in 1 and a half hours. That is probably and all time low speed record for me.














And in my leisure time I got to build a snow fort made from 34 recycling bin snow blocks. This weeks weather just keeps getting better. And yes, the trainer still sits somewhere in the basement collecting dust.

Don't try this at home.

Well I have been off work for nearly two weeks so it was time to get around to some of those bike projects I have been ignoring. First one was to put a shorter stoker stem on the old Burley. I have an old road stem laying around but no shim to make it work. I needed to convert 28.6 to 26.6, a shim size that just isn't made.



















Ahh, here we go, MBL can to the rescue!
















With some precision cutting I think this just might work.














Three cans later and this is all I have to show for my efforts. Well, that and a slight buzz.













Fortunately Roger had some shims that worked out when combined. The Burley is fixed and clean now. It got pretty dirty at the Medina New Year's ride. I had put the studs on anticipating some snow and ice. Unfortunately Medina County has a pretty large salt budget so the roads were much clearer than our own. The weight penalty of these tires is substaintial and we got blown off the back by the road bike crowd. At least that's the excuse I'm using at this time.