Monday, May 24, 2010

It's still a Groovy Series.

Groovy Series #2 at Vultures Knob.

Ohio reared its ugly head the days and hours leading up to the race. Several inches of recent rains had the course pasty and slick, as if the Knob isn't tough enough when its dry. I knew this would be a suffer fest once I did a prologue lap to warm up and check the air pressure in my tires. I had just put on some Kenda Nevegals and they got a good breaking in.
Bob Grimm had a new helmet cam and wanted some race footage so I had the GoPro mounted to my helmet, and it was set to take a photo every 30 seconds.
I like to get a fast start to gain time on Lorson during the first lap. Unfortunately there was a sweet pile up right in front of me about 50 yards into the race. I don't think I've seen this in an off road race in almost 15 years.
Anyway I was on Lorson's wheel for the first lap and the legs seemed to feel fine. The helmet cam had come loose so I handed it off to Bob a half lap into the race. The bike was running smooth and the Nevegals were really biting well. Tracton was never a problem despite the mud. The problem came when Lorson jacked up his back wheel, fixed it, then came raging by me.
There was no lifting of the pace for me. The pasty mud seemed to eat away at my speed like a nasty headwind does on the road. This was a day for strong riders to excel, and that's exactly what happened. I ended up 4th and still have the lead in the series so it's not all a loss.

I received my official Groovy frame with a sweet paint job.

On another note, the Knob now has working showers and a bike wash which sure came in handy this time. Unfortunately there was a creepy guy hanging around the entrance wearing only a towel, and holding a high pressure long hose. Not sure what he wanted but I didn't want to find out either. I think he must have gotten lost while he was looking for Spangler park.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Insider Exclusive

Some of you may know this former Iceman winner as Jon shell, but anyone who has raced against this man knows him simply as 'The Chief'. In this Family of Pain exclusive interview, the Chief finally comes clean about his own substance abuse in his early days of racing. The Chief also lashes out against Wang, and has some shocking allegations about him.

F.O.P.:Chief, why have you decided to come forth about your early racing days?

Chief:Well, I just want the truth to be known and don't want to see up and coming junior racers go down that same path.

F.O.P.:What types of substances did you use?

Chief:Cheap beer mostly, lots of Fallstaff and Killians Red back in those days.

F.O.P.:You were underage back then, how did you acquire the beer, were you working with a veterinarian?

Chief:No, I had a mustache back then so I looked a lot older.

F.O.P.:When did you use this substance?

Chief:The night before a race, I would drink at least 12 beers or more and by the next morning I was flying. I would usually go off the front in a criterium and lap the field at least once.

F.O.P.:Did any of your teamates consume as well?

Chief:Oh yeah, Wang tried to put down 5 or 6, but he was only 118 lbs. back then. He usually ended up passed out in his own vomit. There was also Big Bill and Kardas. Big Bill was usually too busy looking for his lost wallet or trying to scam on some chicks to partake. But Kardas on the other hand, he was on a whole other level back then.

F.O.P.Tell us more about Wang's involvement.

Chief:Well I really blame him for most of it. I mean, that guy was always there yelling at me to drink more. He always wanted me to chug a whole jar of salsa at once. I reluctantly did it on several occasions. I have ruined more than one carpet that way, 'cause it always came back up.
Wang also stored our beer in a cooler in his closet at his parents house. We did get caught once by his folks, but just blamed it on Matt Haugh.

F.O.P.:How did you avoid detection all those years?

Chief:Wang would usually take the empty cans and dump them off in the dumpster down at the park in Smithville.

F.O.P.How about when you were on the road, traveling to races?

Chief:Yeah, well that was no problem, avoiding detection was very easy in those days. After all, I drove a 1964 Mercury Comet with a built up 289! That car could easily out run the cops, plus you could open the bottles using the door handles.

F.O.P.:Some say this is just sour grapes between you and Wang, you know he was always a better off road racer back in the 80's. He has stated on more than one occasion that your handling skills sucked back then. Why did you wait until now to talk?

Chief:He's trying to make a comeback racing that Groovy series. And I think he still abuses cheap beer. Just look in his recycling bin, it's usually full of Old Milwaukee's Best....LIGHT!

F.O.P.:Will we see you toe the line this year? I have heard that you have been training some.

Chief:Not likely, I don't even have a mtb right now.

F.O.P. What about all those Slingshots you have hanging in your garage?

Chief:No comment.

F.O.P.Wang has said that your stories aren't credible. He cites the time you were riding TOSRV and drank a two liter bottle of wine cooler right after finishing off a 12 of Michelob....with no food in your system. He went on to say that you then crashed your bike so hard that you bent both of your rims and snapped the seat right off of it's rails! He claims to have also saved your life that day. He had to turn you on to your stomach and drag you outside by your feet because you were trying to pull a "Jimmy Hendrix".

Chief:No comment...this interview is over.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Cheating gets it faster

Floyd comes clean. Thank you.

In a shocking blow to the professional cycling world, Landis admits his doping ways ever since he joined the US Postal team in 2002. Lets see what kind of spin Armstrong and Bruyneel can put on this ought to be an epic fabrication.

Was this song made for Landis? It sure seems so.

On sale now:Get your discounted copy of Positively False before they sell out.

Aside from his book sales, Floyd is having a Mennonite yard sale in rural Pennsylvania. Here you can pick up various IV bags and syringes, as well as some of his sister's old dresses.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

The wind is your friend.

Beautiful White Lake.

TOSRV was dry this year. That's pretty much the best thing I can say about the weather. It was cold in the morning with highs in the 50's. Also a tad windy, 20 mph steady cross winds on Saturday with gusts pushing upper 30's. We trudged along on the tandem, averaging 18 mph, which was a lot more work than it sounds. When we rolled into Portsmouth it was like a ghost town. I'm pretty sure the sag truck was overloaded this year. We saw people riding into town at 8 pm.

Sunday was a bit better with a NW wind around 13mph. We kept it steady again and only one guy ever jumped on our wheel. After lunch we passed a group of guys in a paceline and we could overhear one of them telling his buddy to jump on. Then the buddy shouts back something like, "The hell with that!"

Enjoying some quality snacks under the tent.

I think Mark is comptemplating where to attack me during the last 30 miles.

I've got some new tires to put on before the next race. Kenda Nevagal 2.1's in the 650B. The Pacenti's are nice but the rear Qausi Moto is wearing out way too fast. Currently Kenda has only the Nevegal in 650B, but I will keep trying to coax them into making a Small Block 8.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Haben sie gedopt? Part Duex.

Ok, I realize I have been slacking big time on the doping front. But it's springtime now, and with it comes the sound of freshly discarded needles hitting the bottom of the trash can. Nothing says spring like fresh, positive A sample. And with this I am reminded of the task at hand and bring to you another edition of 'Where have all the good dopers gone?'

So many to choose from, where do I start? DiLuca would be an easy target but I will save him for another day. Who knows, he might be the one to get his suspension overturned. Fight the good fight Danilo. We are behind you all the way!(Just like your veterinarian was when he shoved that needle in your butt).

Today we catch up with Jannie boy. Apparently the last couple of years have not been so kind to him physically. But despite his inability to put the bratwurst down, he has been enjoying time by mastering the Pan Flute while trying to recreate those haunting melodies in true Zamfir fashion.
Also Jannie just recently was elected to be the Captain of the German Star Trek fan club. With this comes the great responsibility of subtitling all original episodes to German. He already has 13 episodes completed, but is running out of space in his mother's basement and will be looking for his own apartment as soon as he finds a suitable room mate.

But wait, it keeps getting better yet. Jannie will have the lead role in his own Star Trek dinner theater production, in which he will play as Captain Kirk while serving Beef Stroganoff to hungry patrons. And as a special tribute to William Shatner, Jannie has taken on the daunting task of doing the entire play in Esperanto!

"I am up to zie challenge." said Jan. "Zie zie Esperanto, most difficult together."

Thursday, May 06, 2010

The time for suffering has arrived.

Why can't I buy this in Ohio?

All the long winter suffering was not for race fitness, that is merely a by-product. Single bikes.... those are what children play on.
If you have a penchant for real, self induced pain that lasts for days you need to go big.

Last Sunday the Quad came out of hibernation. After six hours of cleaning and adjustments for growing stokers she was ready for the tarmac. 20 mph winds just added to the fun. I believe we averaged somewhere around 14mph for 25 miles. The only redeeming quality of a bike this big is obviously the downhills. When it gets going there's not much stopping it, literally.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Lessons learned for Boonen.

I heard this quote on the Two Johns and it seems to fit Fabian perfectly:

Training is like fighting with a gorilla. You don't stop when you get tired, you stop when the gorilla gets tired.

Saturday, May 01, 2010

The Livin's Easy

Ahhh...summer is almost here, and yesterday's ride at the knob was a real treat. Perfect soil conditions and four laps of fun left me feeling refreshed and beat up at the same time. I got a Droid app that tracks workouts so I can tell you that the knob is 6.75 miles per lap according to my phone. Man it sure seems longer than that sometimes.

On a more important note: I just upgraded the wagon's sound system. I can feel the bass now.

Now this just screams SUMMERTIME!

I was feeling like a climber in my Fabio Parra jersey. I don't usually break this baby out till July but she was calling my name. If the wind is just right I can still smell Fabio's sweat emanating from the fabric. Smells kinda like Beans, tortilla chips, and Modelo.

It's hard to believe that I have elevated cholesterol, but Doc says it's genetic.

Even the Amish are out pounding the miles. I would love to see this dude climb that thing out of Fredericksburg.

Groovy Cycles in the press again:In the June MTB Action mag Rody had two bikes featured from the NAHBS show. Nice work.

ages/clustrmaps-back-soon.jpg'; document.getElementByIdLocations of visitors to this page